I am brave and I think it's time to tell you about the REAL world of cycling.
Because when it's a sunny day and the birds are chirping and you think how nice it would be to go on a spring ride.
If you haven't noticed, there are quite a lot of scraggly pigeons in this city, eating up London's finest leftover chicken shop food and tucking into Friday nights discarded kebabs. Well, these pigeons obviously don't take the underground to get from Finsbury Park to Soho and choose aerospace as their chosen method of transport (which I guess is fine as they don't use petrol and flying can help them keep in shape). However, this means us humans pedalling on the ground may be the target of unwanted droppings from the urban pigeon.
And that my friend, is what happened to me last Friday. I have censored the image as it is too revolting to plaster of the internet in it's natural form and I wouldn't want to jeopardise any future employment opportunities for myself.
Oh, and on the Monday I rolled my front tyre in some dog pooh which I then had to watch go round and round and round on my commute on Tuesday.
So my bicycle friends, cycling isn't always 'cycle chic'.